I have nice stinky cannabis in my posession (and am also currently under the influence of it, for what that's worth). I believe this is in violation of federal law pertaining to Schedule-something controlled substances. I am, however, standing my ground on the basis of my Ninth Amendment rights (although not exclusively said enumerated right, although it would suffice in itself per the founding intentions of Jefferson and Paine, and classic Aristotelian common sense). Someone from the feds, please come detain me, serve me papers, or what have you (Lebowski reference there, you federal FUCKS!). So come get me. Show me what ya got. I fucking dare ya. I fucking double dog dare you. I fucking TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!) I've got a whole ocean of movie quotes to throw at you, too. Semantic hyper-priming or some shit. And if you enforce the current monumentally stupid/wasteful/etc.etc.etc.etc. federal drug laws relating to this schedule-fuckyou controlled substance, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. (Another movie reference you philistine fucks might actually get this time.) Dear President Obama, this is an open letter. Come get me, or send your goons in your stead. Ninth Amendment, motherfucker.
Shouldn't this shit be legal, like, right NOW? Why sit around on our (well, your) lazy stoned asses waiting for 4/20 of this year? That's like a whole three months away and my stash is running out. *reddit glare*
Also, on that semantically-related subject,
P.S. Also,
P.P.S. I can tell already this is going to be a perfectively fun year. :-)
P.P.S. Obama you gonna be my nigga or are we gonna have problems? Still waiting for those mechanized goons to come on by as I type this. Better not be while I'm sleeping, though, or we gonna have problems. Look at the spectacle of this, Yours Truly making a mockery of our otherwise-fine nation's appallingly fascistic drug laws, and what can you really do about it in the end, when you really think about it? Jack shit, that's what. :-P So you just send those goons on over any time I'm awake and at my convenience and maybe I'll get 'em high and they'll put those hands in the air and keep 'em high just like Yeezy prophesized and which some fucks in authority are all ultra-hypocritical not to mention all Nazi/Hitlery about. (Say what you will, though, about the tenets of National Socialism; at least it's an ethos. Let's also not forget about the fucking marmot.)
I forgot what else I was gonna say. For now.
(Oh yeah, I was gonna say, the goons should have no problems finding me, just push that Patriot Act button of yours next to that red one and find out all about me, as seems to be the (sickeningly pathological) fashion in politics these days; just ask Good Guy Glenn Greenwald and he'll fill you in on all the details of your sick, sick act if you don't know all about it already. NDAA? You think for one split fucking second that you'd have secured the '08 Dem nomination pulling that kind of shit, motherfucker? YGBFKM! Andrew Sullivan doesn't seem to mind all that much, though; go read him for aid and comfort. Hillary's gotta be hopping mad about all that Alinskyite Machiavellianism paying off for you, though, don't you think? I was gonna throw out another nugget of verbal gold but it might be wasted on you so I'll just keep it for myself for now, as I have the natural right to do because you fucks don't own me. So there. Checkmate, asshole. :-D )
Anyone else enjoying the ride yet? :-)
You can't refute, etc. etc. etc. ad side-splittingam
Well, my mind's blown. Amen, and hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the
(Well? Where is it? I want it right away. You really should buy me a shitload of it or I might go on strike or some shit. As soon as you get this memo, hop to it and thanks for choosing Ultimate for your philosophical enjoyment. [That's used material already over there on some reddit sub; you're well behind the curve already! Also, "Peripatetic Pothead" is used material over in /r/StonerPhilosophy but I might re-use it, a lot. And you're gonna take it, and like it.] To quote from another of my reddit comments: "Now just relax and let the neo-Aristotelian perfectivist Cultural Singularity logically engulf you from all directions." [slight edit])
UPDATE: President to ACLU and media (and the American People) regarding their FOIA requests to the Administration to provide any documentary support for its unaccountable, extrajudicial program of targeted assassinations: "Bite me!" This isn't a worthy fucking adversary. Jefferson, now there was a worthy fucking adversary. He'd philosophize circles around this sorry excuse for a political leader, too.
Can you even fucking believe how surreal this situation would look to TJ? Read that again: judicially-unaccountable targeted assassination of American citizens. WTF country is this anymore? Do I have to pinch myself or is our political system really that dysfunctional and dystopian? No wonder the people don't trust the fucks in D.C. to solve the nation's problems.
One of the most disgusting aspects of this story has to do with the hypocritical sacks of shit known as the Democratic machine. Where the fuck is Olbermann foaming at the mouth like he did at W? Where are the political operatives and their networks of soulless hacks within the Dem Party when it comes to a President asserting this sort of executive power and telling the ACLU to piss off? How do these fucking schmucks look at themselves in the mirror? And why the fuck does Good Guy Glenn have a national audience - certainly much larger than mine at this point - and still there's this inertia, this endless parade of cowards, weaklings, bums and fools who turn a blind eye to Good Guy Glenn's spot-on-accurate (perfectively accurate?) assessments of this thoroughly scandalous and shameful situation. When they're not going out of their way to misconstrue everything Good Guy Glenn writes, that is....
Mr. President, if you or your underlings are reading this (as you damn well should be if your intelligence-gathering skills are worth a goddamn - and we can't even rely on that anymore): you are conducting yourself like a slimy little pragmatistic piece of shit with no genuine leadership skills whatsoever. It's amazing that even Sullivan puts up with this insult to everyone's intelligence on a daily basis, it's so brazen and unprincipled. If you had any courage and conviction at all, you'd walk right into the office of Noam Chomsky before he passes from the scene, and explain yourself in the face of the most effective bullshit-detectors around. Jefferson would be conversant with Chomsky, after all, being that he was an actual intellectual and not a sorry-ass pretender to such a distinction, you FUCK!
Go on, now, git. Go get on your knees and kiss Noam's ass and say you're sorry if you want any tiny shred of credibility as leader. You're just fucking lucky Mr. Moneybags run such a shitty campaign, because the only thing you had on offer was, "Well, at least I'm not this out-of-touch douche-bag over here." Just as long as you get that 50%+1 of the vote and don't fuck up too badly (e.g., "You didn't build that"). No wonder the business community hates your fucking guts. If your party-faithful knob-polishers have any bit of integrity left, they'll come around to hating your fucking guts, too. That's where spineless, intellectually-vacuous pragmatism gets you, Mr. Thompson, you intellectually-clueless and ineffective captain of a sinking national ship! Now, git. And send those fucking goons over ASAP (at my convenience, etc.) so we can settle this weed shit once and for all.
"Oh, look at me, I read Rand when I was a teenager and feeling misunderstood, but like all people of my pedigree I grew out of that." Ya fucking idiot. How is it that a Harvard law grad and President of the Harvard Law Review manages to suck such a big fat dick in the reading comprehension department, when it's Ayn Rand that is being read, I wonder?
And will this fuck-up ever so much as even raise the issue of that $70 trillion Medicare trust-fund shortfall coming due? I don't think he has the faintest clue how to address it, certainly not without a massive injection of neo-Aristotelian philosophy into the American mainstream. This shit's financially unsustainable in a world of economic globalization and job-drain, etc., and these fucks inside the Beltway wouldn't dare admit it for fear of upsetting an economically-ignorant (and not just economically ignorant!) constituency. Rather than fix the ignorance-problem via neo-Aristotelian cultural infusion, they'd rather play up to the ignorance for short-term partisan advantage. Same ol' shit just like in Socrates's day, but goddamn, it's 2,400 years later already; isn't it long past time we all got with the program and took a step forward? JFC!
(Hey, I'm just getting warmed up! :-D )
